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Considering Detroit's crime rate, its disgraced mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, the general state of the Tigers and the fact that I'm currently living in New York, there are few opportunities for me to openly flaunt the fact that I am from (the suburbs of) Motown.

Now is one of those times.

With the Red Wings set to face off against the Penguins in the Stanley Cup Finals and the Pistons entrenched in a battle for Eastern Conference supremacy with the Celtics, Detroit has become the temporary Mecca of the sports world. And as such, I have free reign to do as I please. No one would blame me if I started doing ridiculously Detroit things, like throw octopi at unassuming strangers or wear a transparent mask around my upper face, which is slowly becoming a part of Pistons team policy.

But while I wish I was driving a zamboni around Central Park, donning a Need4Sheed T-shirt and sipping a Faygo Rock & Rye, I sit sadly in my shoebox-sized apartment, wondering one thing:

Where in the world is Eminem?

The ground-breaking rapper, actor, producer and Detroiter who brought the world an endless stream of chart-topping hits and essentially put 8-Mile Road on the map has gone Bobby Fisher on us, disappearing from the public spotlight for more than two years running.

Considering he's been the face of the Motor City for the past decade, this is troubling. In today's day and age, your team's performance has almost taken a backseat to its celebrity fans. Could you imagine a Lakers game with no Jack Nicholson? A Billy Crystal-free Yankee Stadium? Well that's what this has been like. Next thing you know, the Ultimate Warrior will start ditching all Parts Unknown sporting events.

So excuse me if my Wiretap picks this week are a bit spotty or more misguided than usual. I keep waiting for the Real Slim Shady to please stand up.

The Musts

Aaron Laffey, SP, Indians: The way Indians starters have been pitching this season is bordering on ridiculous. C.C. Sabathia is pitching like an ace again, Cliff Lee is still sporting video-game numbers, Fausto Carmona continues to do what Fausto Carmona does and even Jake Westbrook (2.73 ERA) got in on the fun before injuring his ribs. We've really reached the point when Zydrunas Ilgauskas could lumber to the mound, pitch a shutout and no one would bat an eye. Well, the current flavor of the week in the Forest City is Aaron Laffey, whose performance on the mound has been no laughing matter (see what I just did there?). The 23-year-old has allowed just two unearned runs over his last three starts, leaving him with a supernatural, super-serious 1.35 ERA. With Westbrook on the shelf for at least another week, Laffey -- who posted a 2.77 ERA in five starts for Triple-A Buffalo before getting the call -- should be picked up in all formats.

Randy Winn, OF, Giants: This whole Randy Winn thing is starting to get out of hand. The 33-year-old outfielder is fresh off a 15-game hitting streak in which he batted .367 with two homers, six RBIs, 14 runs and seven doubles. This really just wasn't supposed to happen. This is the same guy who was traded for Lou Piniella -- a bleeping manager! -- only six years ago. Which leaves me pondering, how do you possibly react to getting traded for a manager? Suppose you are an above-average 27-year-old Major Leaguer about to enter the prime of your career. You are sitting in your vacation villa in Cozumel fresh off a breakout All-Star season in which you hit .298 with 14 homers, 75 RBIs and 27 steals. You then get a phone call from your agent telling you that just got traded -- not for a Ken Griffey Jr. type or even a top prospect, but for a 59-year-old manager. How do you respond to that? How long do you keep waiting for Ashton Kutcher to bust out and let you know you just got Punk'd? Six months? Six years? It's really beyond words. Anyway, something fishy is going on in the Bay Area, and as long as Winn keep rolling, he should be picked up. And if he starts stinking up the joint, just try to pawn him off in a trade; you'll be able to get at least a Jim Leyland or Tony La Russa type in return.

The Shoulds

Darrell Rasner, SP, Yankees: Well at least the Darrell Rasner experience has turned out alright. With Phil Hughes on the disabled list, Ian Kennedy pitching like Kei Igawa and Kei Igawa pitching like ... Kei Igawa, Rasner has picked up the slack. The 27-year-old right-hander has been flat-out nasty, going 3-0 through with a 1.89 ERA through three starts. Though it might be tomfoolerish of me to expect Raz to dazzle like this the rest of the way, he did post a 0.87 ERA over 31 Triple-A innings before getting the call to the Bronx, so more good times could be in store.

David Murphy, OF, Rangers: The hits keep coming for David Murphy. No, really, with an eight-game hitting streak, the hits just keep coming. In that span, the 26-year-old outfielder is batting a ridiculous .395 with two homers and nine RBIs. While his Minor League track record is nothing to write home about (not because no one writes letters anymore, but because he hit only .273 with a .407 slugging percentage over 500 career Minor League games), Murphy is worth a flier in deeper leagues. This is the same guy who hit .340 through 103 at-bats last season after getting traded for Eric Gagne, which really is not too dissimilar to getting dealt for Lou Piniella.

The Coulds

Andrew Miller, SP, Marlins: Miller has been pitching so well lately that certainly some of you must have thought that he should have been a could instead of a should (huh?). The 23-year-old left-hander has joined hands with Jair Jurrjens in tormenting Tigers fans this year (thanks, guys!) as he has shaken off an early-season funk to allow only four earned runs over his last three starts while striking out a batter an inning. So yeah, pick him up.

Joey Devine, RP, Athletics: Sometimes, there's nothing wrong with just picking up a middle reliever who has no chance of getting any saves but is just pitching his brains out. And that's where Joey Devine comes in. The former Braves farmhand has been dealing in Oakland, sporting a gaudy 1.40 ERA to go with three wins and 19 strikeouts over 11 innings. While he has struggled a bit of late, the Ks should keep koming (see what I just did there?) for Devine, who's just three years removed from setting the North Carolina State University single-season record for saves.